This week has been a little bizarre. I’ve been taking a more day-by-day approach to things; not intentionally but more naturally things have taken this course. Sunday night was a rip-tide of an evening. My dear friend Ethan came to Boston with AFP to play the Food for Animals show in Boston. Our neighborly music guru, Ben from Honeypump booked the show. It was Honeypump’s 3rd birthday, along with Ben’s birth-birthday. That’s a special thing to have your own venture take off like that and prosper. I feel like I’m working in that direction lately, and look forward to my own 3 year anniversary.
On Monday I awoke to the unusually warm Fall weather, and headed out to teach at some creative movement classes in Newton. After first taking the wrong exit on to 90-East (I’m supposed to go West), I had to get off at Copley Square and spend 15 precious minutes in downtown traffic to get back on 90-West. Luckily, I left earlier than usual and about 4 exits down 90, and $2 in toll fares, my phone rings. The preschool forgot to inform me that they were going on a field trip that day. No need for me to come in and teach.
Okay. Back on to 90-East, I head home to get a little more sleep, which was lovely since Eliot had the day off because of Rosh Hashanah and his parents were coming to town. The day came and went, walking around Cambridge in the early afternoon with friends and loved ones, and teaching at the studio that night.
Tuesday morning Eliot and I went in to a blackout; missing alarms, phonecalls, and the desire to attend 10am services at Tufts Hillel where Ari and the Kristans would be. In a guilt stricken haze, we got up and rushed over to make it before the end of services and have lunch with everyone. It’s been almost 2 years that I’ve known Eliot, and a little less that I’ve known Joe and Rhona. They’re really special to me, and spending time with them always brings me this feeling of comfort, something close to security. That afternoon I felt at peace. I took time to observe and soak in the words, thoughts, and such positive energy coming from the people around me.
The past couple of days have been less peaceful, but I’m trying really hard to hold on to that feeling and observation of the things in life that make it beautiful. This week I watched a syndicated episode of ‘Mad About You.’ I’m not a big fan of the show, but on Wednesday afternoon I was home on a 2 hour lunch break between teaching shifts, and watching the tube while I designed new letterhead the The Dance Inn just seemed right.
Jamie and Paul are the leading characters, the married couple. Jamie, who works for an advertising company got her husband a gig shooting some promotional campaigns or something of the sort. Paul’s character is a filmmaker. The the end of the work week, they were happy to be together but couldn’t speak because they found that working together left them too awry. Opinions were clashing, and their attitudes were defensive towards one another - unwilling to accept criticism, even if meant to be constructive. Their solution, and mutual understanding was that it’s probably not the best idea to work with the same person that you play with.
I have to say, their conflicts reminded me of some of my own difficulties working with people with whom I am close. This past summer, my best friend and I exchanged words many times about our differences working on a professional level together for our Summer Dance Camp program. By the end of the summer, we came to some realizations, swallowed our pride, and expressed our faith in eachother to help eachother move forward in our business. It felt so good to be able to get to a more progressive point of understanding with her, and since then we’ve been on a better level both personally and professionally. It’s spurred more productivity too, and better ideas.
Working hand in hand with someone can be hard, especially when there is a spattering of other levels of the relationship involved. However, I don’t think that the solution is to put all the other things aside and just work “professionally”. Recently, Eliot and I were talking about the idea of family businesses in a generational sense. In general, it doesn’t seem that common, but in my life I have had the experience to confidently say that it is both very special, and very hard!
My experience managing CSDS with my mother, Summer Dance Camp with Jaclyn, and projects with Eliot never cease to propose challenges. It is a continuous learning experience both because of the nature of the working closely with these people, and the nature of a small/personal business. Nothing is static, and we are continuous moving objects, as are our businesses. We have to evolve, and with the right understanding of yourself and the other people involved, and the willingness of both parties to engage in that effort to grasp and understand the patterns of eachother, we can produce really special and meaningful work together.
